Your Appearance Should be the Least Interesting Thing About You

This week in Discovering Balance:  Why Your Appearance Should be the Least Interesting Thing About You.

The importance that has been placed on body image and physical appearance is not a new fact.  Society has been celebrating the “beautiful people” from the dawn of time, although what has been considered “beautiful” changes with the centuries and varies by culture to this day.

Body Types Throughout History

In Ancient Greece (500-300 BC), fuller-figured, light skinned women were considered attractive, while the Han Dynasty (200 BC -220 AD) revered women who were slim, pale and had small feet.  From 1400 to the 1900s women were considered attractive if they were full-figured with rounded hips and bellies and were more desired if they were “plump.”  I was definitely born in the wrong era!  In the 20s we had a brief time when slim was in before returning to the Hollywood era where fuller figures were again considered “more attractive” through the end of the 50s.  Beginning in the 1960s thinner body types began to be seen as more attractive and only through the present time are rounder bodies beginning to be seen as more desirable, but only some parts of your body are “allowed” to be rounder:  your butt and your breasts can be round, but you should also have a flat tummy, and thigh gap.

Makeup Styles Throughout History

In Ancient Egypt from 3100 to 31 BC, heavy eye makeup and dark lips were all the rage along with longer braided hair that lined your face.  In Ancient Greece from 800 – 500 BC, the unibrow was in!  And get this:  if you didn’t have a unibrow, you could glue real animal hair on your forehead to connect your natural brows.  Think about how some things haven’t changed; we’re still gluing hairs to our face to this day #helloeyelashextensions.  In India circa 400 AD, kohl-lined eyes and hair accessories were considered important.  During the Elizabethan Era (1500-1600) pale skin, NO eyebrows, large foreheads, and dark red lipstick was the fashion.  The Japanese Geisha (mid 1700s) was also very dramatic with white face paint, redrawn tiny red lips, and *gasp* a naked back neckline.  During the French Revolution, the white-powder look with dark pink circles for blush was fashionable.  They also would paint “veins” on pale skin and often drew in a facial beauty marks.  In the Victorian Era, loose hair and clear skin were in.  It was also scandalous to wear eye or facial makeup.  If you wanted pink cheeks, you’d have to pinch them for color.  In the 60s was when big, fake eyelashes started to become popular; the bigger you could make your eyes and your hair look, the better.  Many of us can remember the 80s when bright colors were in (hello bright pink mascara!) and the 90s when dark, dramatic looks were popular.

Today

Which brings us to today.  Wouldn’t you agree that today it’s supposed to be about what makes you FEEL like your best self?  We can look around today and agree that almost all of the looks I’ve discussed here throughout history are likely acceptable for the most part and there are certainly people in today’s society that dress and look like many of the people I’ve described.

Are you someone who feels comfortable dressing and looking however you choose to?  Do you FEEL like your best self when society and social media are telling you what you SHOULD look like?  Likely not.  Even throughout history, if you didn’t look a certain way you were judged.  However, our ancestors didn’t have social media to contend with.  They could only compare themselves to the people they came across physically in public.  Today, we have messages coming at us from every direction and everywhere we turn that tell us what we SHOULD look like.  One size fits all, only it doesn’t fit all, does it?  In fact, only 5% of the population looks like what today’s society deems is perfect.  As I have discussed in previous posts, what our physical selves look like has little to do with anything that we can likely change.  So that means 95% of us are the majority.  95% of us look like we are supposed to look…you are who you are, physically, genetically, UNIQUELY you.

In my humble opinion, our outward appearance has mistakenly become way too important and honestly, should be the LEAST INTERESTING thing about us.  Placing so much value on what we look like or what we wear diminishes the important parts of our selves:  who we are at the very core, our personalities, our kindnesses, our hearts.

The people that we were born to be and have grown into are shaped by every single experience we have had in our lives.  The types of music we enjoy, the hobbies that we like to partake in, our senses of humor, our morals, our individual personalities, the skills we have obtained and the memories that we have made.  All of the things that make you, well YOU, have nothing to do with what color your eyes, hair, or skin color are.  It has nothing to do with what you weigh, or what shape your legs are, or what types of food you eat.  It doesn’t matter whether or not you are wearing the latest fashion trends.

When I consider the people that I love the most, and the people that I choose to spend time with, I’d have to say that my most favorite people are the ones who don’t place all of their worth on their physical appearance.  Nor do they concern themselves with what I look like or what others look like.  And quite honestly, I think the most attractive people are the ones who are unapologetically themselves, the ones who can laugh at themselves, can leave the house with messy hair and no makeup, and those who are not spending their time judging others.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that appearances are indeed a part of us, and determines who is attracted to us, as well as who WE are attracted to.  What I am saying, however, is that it shouldn’t be the MOST important part of who we are. It is certainly not more important that any of the other traits or reasons you are who you are.  Less value should be placed in what your exterior appearance looks like compared to what your soul looks like.  Appearances fade and/or change, life is short and what you look like does not determine your worth.

When you put all of your worth in your physical appearance, you’re basically telling the world that that’s all you’ve got.  That it is less important that you are a good human being than it is to be a pretty or good looking human being.

I am here to remind you, friend, that you are WAY MORE than what you look like.  You are all of the wonderfulness that you give to others; you are all of the amazing laughs you’ve shared with friends and loved ones; you are the shoulders that you allow others to lean on; you are a port in the storm; you are an important reminder to all who love you that they are not alone; you are hugs, you are kisses, you are love.

Let all of those amazing things about you shape who you truly are.  Forget about trying to be what society deems is perfect because you are already PERFECTLY YOU.