Diets Teach Us to Ignore Our Intuition

Discovering Balance Part 9

I stopped dieting and gained weight. It turns out the only way I could keep the weight off was to live obsessively. And as I’ve stated before, my body decided where it was going to stop and it fought me tooth and nail to stay there regardless of what I did.

I think about it almost daily and I’m not going to lie, it’s a struggle. I worry what other people think of me, that I’ve given up, that I look like a failure. My identity for so long was being “healthy” and I wasn’t that person anymore. People want to hear about weight loss success stories, because it gives them hope. Declaring, “Hey, I’m not dieting anymore and lo and behold, I gained some weight” scares people. I know because it scared me. We fear fat. Why? Because we’ve been taught there’s nothing worse.

I felt very alone. My anxiety was still very high. I contemplated going back to being “sort of” obsessive.

I tried to recover on my own, but I needed more help. I started seeing a Nutrition Therapist and it’s been instrumental in my recovery. She’s a registered dietician, certified intuitive eating coach, and Health at Every Size advocate. We’ve never discussed my weight or an eating plan. She’s helped me navigate these waters of uncertainty. She’s teaching me to live beyond dieting. And more importantly she’s teaching me how to change my thoughts about dieting. I’m learning to be kinder to myself. I’m learning to listen to my intuition.

I’ve always been Type A. In pursuing a healthier life, my behavior became obsessive. Those two voices are very loud and drowned out that soft intuitive voice every one of us has. I’ve never trusted my intuition because I’ve never really heard it.

Dieting tells us what to eat, how and how much to eat, what time, and what types of workouts to do and for how long. How can we trust our own decisions when it comes to food and exercise? Dieting robbed me of the ability to make my own decisions.

Next I share how I’m finding peace with my body.